


On Matters of Love and Bacon

by Malitia



Series: Loki & Kamala ... because I friendSHIP this [3]
Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel 616, Ms. Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Bacon, Deals, Food as Bribe, Gen, Genderfluid Loki, Gods, Revenge Plans, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 07:26:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5197379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malitia/pseuds/Malitia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So… more Kamala Loki interactions. If I'm not careful this thing might even develops something like a plot. THE HORROR!</p>
<p>As always: I can't write. You've been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Matters of Love and Bacon

“All of them?” asked Bruno cautiously. This was not an order he expected from Kamala, but he worked at Circle Q and the customer is always right. Right?

“Yes. All of them.” she sounded tired, this was already a hard decision to make so her friends really shouldn't make it any harder.

He looked worried “I know we were joking about that you should eat the stuff not smell it, but isn't this too much?”

She facepalmed “It's not for me. Okay? I just couldn't think of anything better. And believe me, I even considered writing a gift fic.”

Bruno finally handed her a plastic bag with wrapped sandwiches and some sealed paper cups of coffee which she took and paid for.

“Wish me luck.” she said finally before walking out.

\-------------------------------------------

Kamala stood around nervously and that was nothing new. She was always nervous when it came to meeting this particular person. Never knowing what to expect. Yeah, he probably had way to much fun making people squirm. Kamala decided. But where was he? She looked around helplessly. This was definitely the place they wanted to meet, and checking her phone told her that she wasn't late either.

Suddenly someone put their hand on her shoulder and she almost jumped out of her skin.

“Hey, sorry to keep you waiting.” said a strange voice. It was a woman's for sure, and Kamala felt she knew it from somewhere but she couldn't place where, which was profoundly creepy. She turned to the newcomer and froze. This was either the most convincing genderbent Loki cosplay she has ever seen or for some reason he was a she now.

“What?”

“Well, that's a rude way of greeting someone.” the woman said and then pointed at herself “Yes, this is exactly what it looks like.” she began to sport an all too familiar grin “Did you know that in some countries people call children with disappeared mothers Loki's children?”

“STOP! SLOW DOWN! TMI!” Kamala put her hands up defensively while valiantly but futilely trying to regain composure.

“Yeah. You might wanna sit down.” said the woman while taking the shopping bag from her.

“Don't you think it's a bit late for that now?!” she yelled at her while trying to decide if crying or laughing or what would be the appropriate response to all this “But congratulations. You convinced me. You're Loki alright.”

“Oh good. I really don't feel like being any other aspect of myself today, so if you didn't this deal of your lifetime would be so off.” Loki said while curiously examining the contents of a bag. She opened a small package and took a look at the foodstuff in it “Mm… Sacrifice seriousness level: Bacon.” she observed almost absentmindedly “By the way, isn't there some kind of commandment in your religion against revering other gods?” she asked finally with a mischievous half-smile.

“You're not a god of mine.”

“What about consorting with evil spirits?” she winked.

Kamala's face turned red “I'm not doing any such thing either! I'm bribing a jerk into helping me.”

“Oh, semantics. How much fun you can be.” Loki said grinning widely “So what's the problem? I heard something about a heartbreak...”

\--------------------------------------------

It was late, the Circle Q was empty and Bruno was contemplating bad ideas. This was one. When the bell over the door rang and Loki entered, he was just glad she used the door and didn't just appear giving him a heart attack instead of just a shock.

Loki looked at him with an eyebrow raised “No freak out? Let me guess: She texted you.”

“As fast as she could, man... um... I don't... that didn't... I mean...” he looked around uncomfortably. This really didn't go as he hoped, but Loki just waved.

“Just present the plea and the offering. If I can be exceptionally godly today.” she said and walked to the counter.

“Okay, so there was a guy called Kamran, Kamala had a huge crush on. He used her, wanted to recruit her for some supervillain, I think. Also abducted her brother ” Bruno put a sandwich on a plate before the trickster. “I want him punished. And I know it will cost me more than this.” he said apologetically.

“No.” the answer was simple but confused him more than anything else that day.

“Why?”

Loki shrugged “I'm honoring my deal with Kamala. She was quite explicitly against the idea of raining terrible trickstery revenge on the guy when I offered. Go figure.” she said checking out the plate before her “Also her sacrifice was much more satisfactory.” she added while biting into the chicken-Parmesan sandwich.

“You. Are. An. Ass.”


End file.
